Sexism in blogging

It has recently come to my attention that many people who read my posts think that I am a very "angry" person.

While that's often true, the anger is usually a result of some injustice - either inflicted upon me, someone that I care about, or sometimes even a stranger - that needs an avenging angel to, er, avenge.

I don't like being angry. I don't like being thought of as an angry person. But I suppose it's better than being called bitchy, a label more commonly applied to a woman with any sort of opinion or backbone or loud voice.

The thing is, my rants are just that. Rants. I don't carry them with me, once it's out into the blogesphere. I'm not angry like that all the time (especially since I'm no longer stressed out at work all the time).

I thought my rants would be thought provoking, amusing and (most importantly) harmless to read - much like watching a rabbit try to disembowel you with a pink, plastic Fisher Price knife.

In fact, I LOVE reading posts similar to mine in other blogs, or online profiles. Those dudes show their middle fingers and cuss all the time in their posts. And they too "appear" to be angry and forceful, but they're just ranting AT THAT MOMENT. They're not always like that.

I even found a kindred spirit in one of those people. We were complete strangers, but got on so well (and no, we did not RANT all the time. Our friendship is pretty tame and polite) that we climbed Mt Kinabalu together. He was a cool guy.

Then it hit me. All these entertaining, ranting bloggers were GUYS.

What the fuck?? So if a girl like me were to blog like this, I'd be labelled as bitchy, unstable or angry. But if a GUY blogs like this, he's fun to read?!?! Sexism in the blogesphere!!

Another piece of proof was this blog I'd created as an experiment. No one knew it was me, including my sister. She read the first post and actually thought it was well-written or entertaining or something like that, NOT knowing it was me, and her assumption was that it was written by .... jeng jeng jenggggg ..... a GUY (must be all that writing I did for FHM).

Bloody hell. This is so unfair! I don't like being thought of as this uncontrollable, angry chick - but I like writing like this. It's therapeutic. And I find it funny, even if no one else does. Sob.

All this because there's a preconceived image of girls being all feminine and gentle. So, I can't get away with writing the way a man does, because girls "aren't supposed to be like that". WTF.

My brother's theory is that when people imagine a male blogger speaking out the words, it sounds like a controlled, male rant. But if they imagine a FEMALE blogger speaking out the same words, they would automatically assume a whiny, bitchy or naggy voice instead - thus ruining the enjoyment of the post.

Bah.

Pregnant Peeves

There are several things that pissed me off no-end during my pregnancy (aside from all the stupid and embarassing bodily functions that come with it). Here they are :

1. SMOKERS
I hate going out during this pregnancy because of these motherfuckers. Be it at a mamak or at a Starbucks, there's always a shithead sitting nearby with a fucking cancer stick.

Don't get me wrong, I've got smoker friends who are VERY considerate and are very aware of where their smoke goes. When they smoke, I sometimes don't even notice that they're doing it - so discreet and considerate are they. Either that, or they move somewhere else to get their fix, and I really appreciate it.

But most of the assholes in public don't care where their smoke goes. They just puff away, and the smoke always, ALWAYS finds me. It's like they instinctively know where the non-smokers and pregnant women are sitting and position themselves upwind of us. Motherfuckers.

Today, I was having lunch outside, and a Chinese SALESMAN was sitting at the table next to me. He was reading a stupid book filled with stupid Chinese characters, having just finished his food. After I sat down, he took out his cancer stick and kept blowing the smoke RIGHT AT ME! There were a million places he could have blown it, but he aimed it dead centre at me.

After a few not-so-subtle waves of my hand and crinkling of my nose, he still continued. So I finally asked him nicely if he could blow his smoke in another direction, and not at me, because I'm pregnant. Being CHINESE, and a SALESMAN, he obviously didn't understand my request and thought I was asking him to put out the cancer stick.

Instead of being sorry about blowing smoke at me all this while, he actually retorted back, "There are so many empty places here what. Why do you have to sit here??" I couldn't believe my ears. For the sake of my baby, I restrained myself from kicking the table up into his ugly, yellow face.

(In another place, I'd asked an Indonesian worker if he could blow smoke elsewhere, he had the decency to look chagrined, and apologised profusely before complying happily with my request. Malaysians should be ashamed of themselves)

I repeated to the Chinese fucker that he could just blow his smoke away from me, and that would be fine. Piece of shit. He didn't stay long after that. Wish I got a photo of his stupid face. He even had the typical Chinese flat ass. Bloody Chinese SALESMAN.

To all the smokers, if you want to end your life, do it to yourself and don't take me and my baby with you. Assholes.

I hope the government stops in-fighting enough to ban smoking in public places. It's a disgusting habit. And NONE of you look cool doing it. Dumbasses.

"Lookit me. I'm so hawwwt when I smoke ..."

(Pic from http://www.welaf.com/)

2. PEOPLE WHO RUSH INTO THE LIFT BEFORE LETTING YOU OUT FIRST
Self explanatory. Usually, these are Chinese people, too. Hmm. Maybe I should just change my entire list to "CHINESE PEOPLE". Then again, try taking an LRT around town and you'll find this applies to all races and walks of life. Stupid assholes.

I mean, were you born in a barn? If you don't have the brains for common courtesy, common sense at least dictates that you should let the occupants out first, so you'll have enough space to get in, hence avoiding all the squeezing and struggling which will impede your progress into said lift in the first place!

Not to mention that they don't care if you're pregnant. They'll just push their way in, bumping against your poor belly without a second thought. That's when I normally shoulder them roughly out of the way. Good thing I'm bigger than the average scrawny Malaysian male. Assholes.

3. PARENTS WITH DESIGNER PRAMS
Gone are the days when the prams are small, petite little things. They have transformed into a 10-in-1, multifunctional contraption that not only houses drooling infants, but can be used as a car seat, shopping trolley, armoured vehicle or spaceship.

As a result, these parents take up unneccessary amounts of room in shopping complexes and lifts. But what I really hate is that they usually do not watch where they're going because they assume everyone is going to make way for their little prince / princess in their mini Humvees.

I usually don't bother changing direction and walk right into their path. If I get to kick the stupid pram in the process, that's a bonus.

4. OTHER PREGNANT WOMEN
I don't know why. I should be more sympathetic since I am also pregnant, but I find pregnant women very messy looking and clumsy. The stomach is like everywhere, they walk funny, all their joints are ungainly and swollen, they look really sickly and either wear tents or something tight and short because they think it's fashionable to show off their bellies (yuck).

Also, they tend to be grumpier than normal human beings. I had my fair share of unfortunate run ins with grumpy preggos (one of whom was the shampoo girl at my mom's regular salon who tried to rip the hair out of my scalp while washing it), and it's probably conditioned me to hate the very sight of them.