How I Want My Kids To Remember Me

Given how low I've been feeling, how I'm actually starting to resent motherhood and all the inhuman giving that it requires of you, I've decided to try a more positive type of visualisation exercise. I really don't know what else to do, because I think I'm reaching the end of my rope.

When my boys are grown and they think back on their childhood, I've always wanted to be remembered like this :
- In their mind's eye, I'm surrounded by a golden nimbus of love, warmth, gentleness and all-round awesomeness.
- The Madonna-mother. (Haha. I laugh even as I type this. Maybe this one is too ambitious.)
- The one they run to for comfort when they're hurt.
- The one who is so strong, powerful and awesome that she can protect them from anything that scares them, whether it's human bad guys, or evil ethereal beings.
- The one they can confide in or talk to about anything and everything, because they know that she will listen with an open-heart (though she can't help being judgemental).
- The one they enjoy sitting in silence with, because they just like her company.
- The one they know loves them unconditionally, but will not hesitate to punish them if they do the wrong thing.
- The cool mom. 

Hahahahahaha. No, I think.

This might be more likely.

Hmm. Nowhere in there does it say I want to be remembered as the mom who always kept the house clean, their clothes washed and ironed, or their food yummy & chock-full of nutrition (this one always stresses me the fuck out). Interesting.

Please God, give me strength to be these things.